through a glass darkly

i can't get no motivation i have a million things to do this week (being the last week of classes for the term) and i don't feel like doing a damn one of them. what i really want to do is go curl up under the bedcovers. i only just a minute ago got around to taking a shower. i don't see how anyone can think that life as we know it was created with any purpose in mind. if it was, then it would have to make a hell of a lot more sense then it does. instead, life is full of missed opportunities and bad timing. just when a certain part of my life starts to come into focus, something changes before i have a chance to experience my newfound understanding. if there's any justice, this situation will work out... but i hate waiting. while i treasure the good parts of my life, which i would never have thought possible a few years ago, i hate that i still feel like so much is missing. i'm tired of feeling like i'm going through life alone so much of the time. i just want someone to hold me and make everything okay. okay, enough of this sob fest. if anyone needs me, i'll be hiding under the blanket.